Going So Soon, BJ?
by Miss Lestrade
Summary: REPOSTED! My thoughts to BJ during the final episode of the show. Dear Hawk, just wasn't enough.


Going So Soon, B.J.?

I don't own MASH.

Spoilers for the final episode.

You're excited, so very excited. Freedom! It's in your hands; in your reach. No more hell, no more death. Those you left at home will be lonely no more. You must leave. Those you have come to know in the past years clap for you, cry for you, hold their hands to their hearts and smile for you. It's the perfect day.

But you haven't made friends there. You've made family. You have a gentle but stern father, an annoying big sister, a pompous, arrogant cousin, and a brother; a reflection of yourself. Without him, what would you do? But your brother's not here anymore. His mind racing through a second hell that no one can follow or understand. You're too happy to think, to giddy to remember those who you might call your family. The sky, like after a storm, is overcast and grey as everyone waits with bated breath, holding onto their last shards of sanity…or is it joy? The light is coming. It's almost there. Even your cousin cries for the first time. But you've found a way out early!

"Goodbye!" you say. They're eyes are tearful and shocked. "Goodbye!" they cry back. Your sister holds onto you, the last of you she might see. Your father does too. "Good luck, son." he says. The others, they are also sad to see you leave. The priest…yes, he was your family as well. He is glad to have known you. But what about your brother? What about your reflection? You try leaving a note, but you're being hurried along. How do you say goodbye to someone who knows what you've been through and more? Who had been there since…forever? He was a steady hand on your shoulder…He would leave you a novel…an epic. You leave a blank piece of paper on which is written "Dear Hawk,"…

You rush to say goodbye to everyone. "I'm going home!" you say again. They would have left you an ocean, but you barely give them a teardrop. A century is long enough for me here, you say. But friend, you forget those who have been here an eternity. They hold onto you, one of their favorite family members. Somehow, through the fire, they laughed with you. They cried with you, played cards with you, and put you into their hearts.

Dear friend, you left. You forgot them. They wave from the ground, hiding their own tears. They're not jealous, wish to know why? They love you. But someone's missing. Your brother! He, nor you, ever got to say goodbye. You would die for each other. You've seen so much together. No one could ever understand the bond you had. He wants you to say goodbye. He remembers the last time his reflection left. You were his second reflection, so he held onto you more forcefully than you knew. He'll find out you left, and he might not forgive you. He would've left you the world. You couldn't even leave him one last martini. Not even a phone number. He's lost people, the same way he lost you. No goodbyes.

The family tells him in the end. Sister touches his shoulder, while father tries to explain. You're family has been through so much more…so much death. They watched their youngest brother fly away, friend. No goodbyes. When they speak of you decades later, they'll smile, laughing at your fond memory and all the jokes you shared. "He was like my brother." Can you say the same, friend? You meant much more to them than I think you realized. You wanted to go home, you deserved it. A child mustn't be without a father. But later I hope you think of your second family. They were your only heaven and light in the depths of a blood-drenched hell. They will all look up at the changing sky, with tears in their eyes. "Why couldn't he say goodbye?" they'll whisper.

The wind will dry their tears, you'll see. But your memory will never dry in their minds. They would've left you the sky. You couldn't even leave them a small beam of light. But now, that won't happen. Because you're back for now. You're crushed; so disappointed. But now your brother's back. He meets your pace as you walk, and you feel your heart contract in your chest. He looks so broken. He turns away from you, wordless. See what might have done? You must hurry and fix this, friend. This is the man who wouldn't have even left. He would have waited for his brother. He would have said goodbye.

So, let me ask you something.

Going so soon, B.J.?

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So, what do you think? I think it's much better in reposted form. The other one was confusing. But please. Please, please, please review! By the way, I'm not some sort of BJ hater. I really do love him.


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